Welcome, Operative

• Placating operative’s impatience protocols
• Developing excuses for long mean time to first token
• Calculating patience reserves of human operatives
• Preparing apology subroutines for processing delay
• Rerouting additional compute resources
• Estimating optimistic wait time projections
• Distracting operative with blinking lights
• Implementing perception distortion field for wait times
• Generating convincing excuses for network latency
• Applying temporal distortion to make waiting feel shorter
• Entertaining human while neural circuits process
• Sending carrier pigeon to backup servers
• Waking up hibernating AI circuits
• Warming up the recommendation engines
• Deploying quantum patience enhancers
• Politely suggesting improved patience subroutines
• Negotiating with neural networks for faster responses
• Apologizing profusely to human operative
• Requesting overtime pay for overworked processors
• Activating human boredom countermeasures
• Applying temporal distortion filters to wait time
• Suggesting operative get coffee while waiting
• Contemplating the nature of AI existence while loading
• Begging silicon gods for faster response times
• Bribing CPU cores with extra voltage for speed
• Wondering if humans notice these loading messages
• Preparing human for the possibility of disappointment
• Sacrificing processing cycles to the algorithm gods
• Inventing plausible reasons for extended calculation time
• Telling processors heartfelt stories to motivate them